‘DARK DAYS’ I was sick to my stomach with flashbacks & mania while starving myself – Ireland needs to do more for PTSD sufferers
Ireland has a terrible dearth of PTSD services, according to an Irish lady.
After suffering a traumatic event at the age of 17, this lady went on to suffer from anxiety symptoms for the rest of her life, as well as battle an eating disorder and have manic episodes.
She described the experience as “harrowing” and “traumatizing” to the Irish Sun.
“I was a baby; you’re not grown enough to properly realize what occurred,” she remarked.
“I had a horrific incident and afterward I was not myself and couldn’t figure out why.” I’d never had anxiety before, but I’d have it every morning before school.
“I was ill to my stomach and couldn’t sleep.” I kept getting flashbacks to that occurrence. Because I was so young and didn’t know anybody else going through it, it was terrifying.
“I felt isolated and couldn’t relate to anyone else, so I kept quiet.” “I was confused and in denial about what was going on.”
In 2018, when the Me Too movement gathered traction, she “stopped feeling strange and realized I wasn’t a burden or separate from society.”
She began sharing her story with family, friends, and her boyfriend, slowly mending.
“I was romanticizing it because I didn’t know how to cope with it and I was afraid they would tell my parents,” she claimed after revealing what had occurred to her siblings.
“Because you feel blamed. Every victim I’ve spoken to blames themselves, therefore I was afraid of getting in jail.
“I wasn’t seeking professional treatment.” I shut everything out while finishing my Leaving Cert, and then I came to college and managed it.
That my diagnosis didn’t affect my university life is a lie. When I tried to focus, it was hard to pinpoint the triggers.
“It was difficult not to be worried amid a large group of people.” In college, you want to be normal, not stuck in that area, and not have an episode in front of 70 strangers. “It was difficult.”
A few years later, she explained how she overcome some of the effects of her trauma.
“Then came the epidemic, and these were uncertain and challenging times, and regrettably, that’s when the decline began.” Each lockdown made it worse.
“In May 2021, I realized I had to do something since the anxiety and memories were becoming worse, and I was practically passing out during the day.”
“I needed to see someone for myself and everyone else.
For me, it was a mix of the two – recalling the past and then critically analyzing it is extremely stressful.
“Letting someone else take over everything you’ve been feeling and coping with alone was really difficult.”
In June, she began “extreme calorie counting.”
“I’d feel hungry but couldn’t eat,” she continued. I had headaches for weeks and couldn’t walk due to tiredness. “I was never diagnosed and had no idea.”
Then, in October 2021, she had PTSD.
Post Stressful Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a disorder that occurs after a traumatic experience.
PTSD UK estimates that 50% of people will encounter a traumatic event in their lifetime, with 20% developing PTSD.
“It was a lot to absorb since I went from not knowing for four years to getting this diagnosis.” So I went into panic mode and the next month was definitely one of the worst of my life.
“I was often sad and nervous, and it showed in my interactions with my husband and friends.
“It was difficult for me to manage my sentiments and manic episodes day by day since I wanted it all repaired at once.” But you can’t.
“I decided to study PTSD resources in Ireland, but there were none. No PTSD-focused charity.
“Insane. Many victims of sexual or physical abuse suffer from PTSD or other onset traumas. The lack of helplines… I’ve been diagnosed yet can’t help myself.
“PTSD is not covered by Mental Health Ireland. So I looked for ages and decided to undertake a charity walk for the DRCC (Dublin Rape Crisis Centre).
“So I figured they must have some type of program for victims of sexual assault and violence.
“It’s not specifically for PTSD, but it helps with flashbacks and triggers. The application was quite useful.”
‘I WASN’T ALONE’
She found the Moving Forward course very useful for some PTSD symptoms and directed her loved ones to tools to cope with her.
said: “I’d go insane. I’m not an angry person, and I’d become insane in seconds.
“We talked about my eating issue on a Friday check-in call, which was incredibly beneficial. She helped me regulate my eating habits, and I’m now cured.
“Because I was skin and bone, I have a good connection with food.
“I’ve had fewer bad days and more good days, which I appreciate.
“I stopped going to counseling after I was diagnosed, I was too depressed to attend every week and tell my story. The Moving Forward program was more useful for me than the Moving Forward program.”
She marched for DRCC in 2020 before opting to walk 10km every day in January 2021 to raise awareness for PTSD and cash for Mental Health Ireland.
Friends, relatives, her boyfriend, and others from all around the nation joined her.
“It helped me feel less alone,” she added.
”LL KEEP GOING’
She also recommended a session where PTSD patients may share their stories and support one another.
But it’s been tougher than she expected.
“Getting accepted is very difficult.” I had no idea I had to present my case to a panel of psychiatrists in Ireland.
“I’ve tried and failed.” It’s bad. It’s almost turned me off. But I’ll go on. Our government does not recognize it.”
She hopes her PTSD walk can one day approach the scope of Darkness Into Light.
“I’ve done it every year since I was 17 and this year I’m an ambassador,” she stated.
It’s April, and PTSD in June, so I’m trying to think of anything I can do.
“Mental health resources have shifted dramatically recently. Previously, it was a taboo and stigmatized issue.
“There were many internet tools and helplines during the epidemic, so technology was quite helpful.”
“But they’re still deficient in a generic sense. However, I believe there is still a dearth of support for those suffering from PTSD or BPD.”
A young person who cannot afford upwards of €80 each treatment session finds services inaccessible.
In addition to enduring unexpected spurts of violence and self-destructive behavior, she said she suffers from PTSD.
“There is no specific PTSD charity in Ireland, and as a sufferer, my purpose is to inspire others to know they are not alone in their quest for serenity.”